Tuesday, 21 February 2017

~Goodbye~



He said bye to me
 and I couldn't make a sound.
 My mind says let it be
 but my heart is on the ground.
 Memories are dancing in the air tonight
 killing something beautiful we had. 
I'm tired and I can no longer fight
 why you're being so mad.
 
The song of silence is your new track
 you've always been a good writer.
 Painting everything black 
I've never been a strong fighter.
 What was once a child's game
 became a funeral of hearts.
 There's no one to blame 
I'll pick up my broken parts. 
Right from the start it's always been there
 how naive and blind I made me feel.
 To find some hope now I wouldn't even dare
 the wound is deep and I don't think it will heal.

 He said bye to me
 and I couldn't make a sound. 
But finally we were singing the same song.


RO


ro

Friday, 28 October 2016

DISAPPEAR


Your eyes are like fire
when you look at me
I'm burning with desire.
Your arms around me
they pull me back
to a fantasy forgotten.
And your lips are touching my soul
like they know what to say.

The white smoke is filling up the room
I'm seeing angels dancing
but they're doomed.
The stars are falling
dead and cruel,
they make you look like a fool.

Once upon a dream
I thought you're not real
but your touch cuts deeper than a knife
so I keep bleeding in the night
and my eyes can't see clear.

Our lips are touching
my flame is dying,
I thought our souls are matching
but the void is purifying.
Hollow and cold,
I became you.
Numb and old,
you became me.

Emptiness is the smell of your new perfume.
Frozen and beautiful inside
with memories of a child's laughter 
and woman's cry.

Hold me tight till the sun is out
whisper death and life into my ear
breathe my air till I pass out
let me disappear.



RO

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

Murderer

The night is dark and full of sorrow.
My heart keeps beating but it's hollow.
Once upon a time, the story was fine.
There's no happy ending in this tale of mine.

A flower needs water and air
but what will happen when you tear it away.
Once full of life and colors,
poor thing is dying cause you needed flowers.

Is this what makes you happy?
The world is blind for your tears.
Your mind is full of things crappy.
That's why you had to leave me with all of your fears.

The night is young and full of ghosts.
The flower is dead but that's not the worst.
Your eyes are empty but so is your grave.
My hands are shaking cause I need to be brave.



Monday, 29 February 2016

~Wild Eyes~


Hey, weirdos!

It's been a long time without a word but now I have new life and a lot of words to say (write).

So it goes...
Last year I moved to London. A lot of things changed for me but the most important thing is that now I don't live every day like it's the same.
That's what I like about my life now.
Because before, when I was living in my country with my parents a normal and safe life, every day was the same and it was slowly killing me.
Like literally, I was having panic attacks almost every night and at the age of 22 I started to think about my death.

Change is good!
Don't run away from it!
You might be scared in the beginning but after that you won't regret it.

That's what I did and now I'm happy about my decision.

I'm not saying that every day here, in London, is like this perfect and beautiful moment. Not at all.
But I learned to cherish every moment. Every day. Even if it's a bad day, a miserable day or happy and amazing one.
It doesn't matter what kind of day I'm having as long as I'm panic attack free and I'm feeling alive.
A cute little monkey that I found on my last day in Lincoln
 before I came to London.

In this post I would like to thank my dear ''friend'' who did this really shitty thing and because of him I'm living in London now.
I'm saying this with a big smile because I really mean it.
I know that the thing he did was awful and wrong and I couldn't even think of it for a long time but now that I forgive him I feel so much better.
I really appreciate the crappy thing you did to me because it made my life better and more interesting.
Thank you!
A lot of foxes in London.
You should be careful cause they're really cute.

So it goes...
London

I've met a lot of new people here and each one of them is unique and interesting. 
I've learned couple of new things about myself as well.
And every day I'm finding out something new about my life.

So example, I found that I'm not a good cleaner but I'm very good bartender.
In the beginning when I came to London I did't have any money left in me. 
And now is the time to thank to my big brother.
Because even if we were strangers most of my life, he was there when I needed him the most.
I'm really grateful to him and his friends because if it wasn't for them, I can't imagine what would happen to me here.
The best roommates trio.

For the first couple of months I was working as a house cleaner because I refused to change my look and believes.
Literally I choosed to clean toilets and stay true to myself than changing for a good job.
And after when, thank God, they fired me from my second agency I found better job in a restaurant chain as a runner.
It wasn't that good or anything but at least I wasn't cleaning toilets.
And they accepted me as I am.
That was good until I tried to be behind the bar in another restaurant from the same chain.
Not only the job was better and I really liked it there but the staff and the managers were wonderful and amazing. We even became a family.

So yeah, after 4 miserable months in London I finally found my place. For now.
It's even better than I expected it would be.
I still miss my family and my friends every day.

In the end, it doesn't matter how much shit you can take. 
You should stay true to yourself and believe that one day it all will be better.
Not only you should never stop believing but you should never stop doing something 
to make it better.
And here some photos from UK from my Instagram
Lincoln,UK

London, UK
London, UK [My garden - the park behind my house]


London, UK [My street]

London, UK [Leicester Square - Light show]
London, UK [Marble Arch]

London, UK [Autumn]

The best gig in my life!

P.S. STAY WEIRD!!!

Saturday, 28 March 2015

{The Dreamer}

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*Мечтателят*

Светът бе станал сив...
миришещ на боклуци,
цигарен дим и 
от време на време,
човек можеше да усети измамната надежда
под формата на парфюм.

Saturday, 7 March 2015

...Защото навън е студено...

Една нова творба, вдъхновена от студа...
Не е точно стихотворение,
но не и разказ, 
може би нещо средно между двете.
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Saturday, 7 February 2015

Ro's Notebook (02.02 - 06.02)


Белота,
чистота,
неопетненост.
И после,
кал,
мръсотия,
поквара.

Tuesday, 13 January 2015

"Dark Paradise"

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"Everytime I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side"
("Dark Paradise" Lana Del Rey)

Това е песента, която ме вдъхнови да направя късометражно филмче за един приятел.